If you judge a fish with the ability to climb trees then your whole life (that fish) will think you're stupid: Keep these 3 things in mind to keep your personal confidence.

Albert Einstein said: If you judge a fish with the ability to climb trees then your whole life (that fish) will think you're stupid. " We all have strengths and weaknesses. Someone might be a talented musician, but a bad cook. The ability in a certain field is not intended to think of a person's core value.

In English, there is the word "self-esteem", indicating how we perceive and value ourselves. As a description on Psychology Today, a good self-esteem person is confident and confident in his or her value. This confidence separates external factors such as wealth, education, health, and social status.

If you are a low-confidence person, you don't like yourself, sometimes you don't have value or "not good enough", you don't trust your strengths, you can't make decisions or affirm what. You also often blame yourself for errors not because of you, saying that people do not like you, and see "sin" when spending time and spending money for themselves. Doesn't it sound good?

According to Mind.org.uk, there are many factors that influence how someone evaluates themselves, and these factors change between different people. Experiencing difficult experiences in the past: violence, unemployment, prolonged stress, physical illness, problems of mental health, separation or divorce ... can affect your heart confidence of a person. The Guardian page cites a research result near the US since they were born to their 27th year, and found that: the family environment, especially in the first 6 years of life, has a lasting impact on self-confidence.

 

However, when you are already a big person and have low confidence, you can still improve this so-called belief in yourself. In 3 ways:

1. 1. "Edit" self-talk - what you say to yourself

Have you ever had a thought in your mind: "I am so bad", "I am nothing", "I am inferior to everyone", or "I am a loser"? For many people, these thoughts are often most likely when they encounter difficulties or deadlock in life.

An article on The New York Times quoted Eric Barker, the author of the book on self-success and development, about understanding himself: "The first and most important thing is to pay attention to the voice inside your head - the comment tone we all have when we live. "

“Sometimes that voice is too serious. You defeat yourself when you make any mistakes. To sympathize and understand yourself better, you need to pay attention to that voice and edit it, ”Barker said.

Agree, an article on Psychology Today said that by recognizing your negative thoughts, you start "isolating" yourself with the bad feelings that those thoughts bring.

To improve, change the way you talk to yourself. Every time negative thoughts come and see you're judging yourself, gently write down what's going on, see everything from an objective and realistic perspective as possible. It is a way to challenge negative beliefs about yourself.

In particular, according to a talk by psychologist Guy Winch on TED, whenever your self-criticizing monologue appears, ask yourself what you will tell a beloved friend if they stay. in your situation. We tend to understand sympathy with a friend rather than ourselves. Doing this will avoid ruining your self-confidence to go further with negative criticism.

 

2. Stop comparing yourself to others

Today, it is difficult to avoid comparing yourself to others, especially when we are surrounded by images of celebrities and people on social networks.

The Guardian page quoted psychologist Linda Blair, saying that it is impossible to have an accurate view of others, especially from their "virtual" state on social media: "You are comparing yourself to one thing is not true, and this leads to disappointment ”.

“I emphasize that just because someone looks happy on social networks or even in front of you doesn't mean they're happy. The comparison can only lead to negative thinking, "this is what Kimberly Hershenson psychologist said on Psychology Today.

In short, losing confidence in yourself after watching shimmering images of others on social networks is very silly. Remember that what people choose to share is not the panorama of their lives.

 

3. Find out what you like and develop it

In the end, personal confidence is built upon demonstrating real abilities and achievements in aspects of life that make sense to us. If you are proud of your writing skills, write more. If you like to draw, sign up for a drawing class and join art communities. In short, to be confident, find your abilities and find opportunities to develop them.

On Psychology Today, psychotherapist Kristie Overstreet recommends that we ask ourselves: “When do you feel confident in your life? What are you doing at that stage? ”If it's hard to find your unique talents, ask your friends to show you. Sometimes others are more likely to see good in us than we see ourselves.

As Albert Einstein said: "Each person is a genius. If you judge a fish with the ability to climb trees then your whole life (that fish) will think you're stupid. "We all have strengths and weaknesses. Someone can be a talented musician, but The ability in a certain field is not intended to think of a person's core value, be aware of what your strengths are and the feeling of confidence that those strengths bring Again, especially when you doubt yourself.

A final word for you: Learning to separate your circumstances and values is the key to personal confidence. Identifying the inner value and loving an imperfect self will provide a solid foundation for development. With that solidity, a person is liberated to develop himself in joy, love and not in fear of failure, because failure does not change our core values.

Everyone is born with the same potential and values as a human being. Thinking that we are "not enough", "not as good as others" is a false belief that we must learn to change over time.

Minh Nguyen