The son's reverse question when compared to his "mother's son" by his mother makes all parents look back and forth at him.

While parents compare their children in front of others, say their children are good grades, get scholarships ... and their children do not. But do you know that behind your back, your children are also quietly comparing you to other parents about your home, career, vehicle and talent?

01

The daughter of my colleague is in the third grade and the learning results are only relatively high. The kid's deskmate is T. - an excellent student. Achievements are always in the top 2 of the school.

Every time a girl gets a test, she looks very carefully. That day she was 9 points but her mother seemed unhappy. My colleague looked at her child's transcript and asked: "How many points is the highest grade? I lost to those in the class?" When the child says the point of T., she will say the sentence: "I see my friend T. also goes to school like a child who has high marks, and points like this." She did not understand how much effort her child had made to complete the test well. Instead of congratulating her child, she said heavy words. 

Until recently, she borrowed a transcript from a classmate of her child to watch. The mother of this child, after holding the transcript, turned to scold her child for a match because of her unsatisfactory score. The new child said again: "You are always comparing me to people, so why aren't you as good as your mother?

My colleagues and I were speechless after the boy's question. The child's mother said that the study of the boy and his mother were two things that were completely unrelated. The child did not subdue and whispered: "When she studied, her mother never played a cell phone, she could work or read a book in another room. The number of books she read was more than the number of textbooks. my department is studying, every time my friend does not understand the lesson of the lecturer in the classroom, she explains it until she understands it, so she points her at a high level, and she never instructs her I just play the phone ". Colleagues seem to be speechless.

Considering that, parents because of work or for some reason are forced to use the phone and do not pay attention to teaching their children, until they see the transcripts scold them. Have you ever wondered if some of your actions affect children and whether you have less time to watch your phone to indicate your child? Parents' actions will become a measure of children's minds, so if you want to teach your children well, please review them first.

 

02

The night before, I read stories to my children before bedtime. However, my daughter refused to sleep and started talking. The girl asked, "Mom, besides telling me stories, what else can I do?" I replied, "You know how to do a lot of things. Which side do you want to ask? She said:" Your mother, I know what all children can do. Every time she wants to eat something, just tell her mother that everything is available. On his birthday, your mother made a cream cake that was big and cute and very delicious. We all have good compliments. "

This pushed me into a difficult situation. I don't hate cooking, but I've never tried making ice cream cakes, only strong on main dishes. First of all, I don't like to eat ice cream cake because it's too fat, and secondly, it's really troublesome to make ice cream cakes. Now there is a shop that sells ice cream cakes, so you can buy it. I had to tell the truth that I didn't know how to make ice cream cakes, but I would try to learn how to make and promise my daughter that she would make a cake for her next birthday. She was happy and said, "When I make ice cream cakes, let me work with them, I like to learn how to make cakes." In the end, everything was fine, I breathed a sigh of relief. Parents try to think, except for these things, your child may ask you other questions

We adults often deliberately or unknowingly compare their children to other children and use other people's children to educate their children. "Have you seen their children? People are class leaders, good children, good students, ..." are the words that everyone has heard, but do you think one day your child also compares you to Other parents or not?

 

03

A classmate I had to go to the North to work from last year. Previously, he worked in this field, his salary was much higher than the previous companies. His wife must raise her child alone. He came home every ten days and half a month.

Every wife who talks on the phone reminds him to visit him, but he always makes excuses for his children who are still young, do not know anything, and make money so that his wife and children can have a better life. It was not until the child was 9 years old that he returned to visit his son on the weekends, but only after half a day he rushed back to the company to work that night. When he packed up his belongings, he promised his son that he would visit the boy. But the son refused because he had met his father for a long time.

He patiently told his son that because he wanted to make money for him to live better, he could not stay with his children every day. He told his father: "So why doesn't Minh's father go to work but still earns enough money to support him, does he still have time to play with him and three?"

He did not know how to explain it because he and the other father worked in two different fields. The situation forced him to travel outside the North, and the other father worked at the company near his home. Although the neighbor's salary is not as high as he is, his whole family is still together and the children like this. He asked his son again: "If you go to North to work, will you follow me?"

The child said that, of course, he could save money and show off his pig that was full, and promised not to play unnecessary toys. What he wanted was to play with his father. He looked at the child seriously and finally decided to ask for a transfer to be closer to his child.

He thought the money could be earned, but he missed the opportunity with him, saw him grow up and grow up. He did not want his child to be deprived of affection compared to his family.

 

04

In the hearts of every child, when they begin to realize their surroundings, their parents are heroes, who have many talents, cook well, knowledgeable knowledge ... But later grow up, The kids interact with more people, know more of their friends and parents. Gradually, they began to compare their parents with the parents of others. 

If you feel your parents are more beautiful, talented, knowledgeable and morally better, you will be more proud of your parents when your friends ask about your parents. And so are the children. Conversely, if the child feels that his or her parents are not as good as the parents of others, the child will have a feeling of inferiority.

Just like when parents compare their children to "people's children", do you know they are also self-deprecating about themselves? Self-deprecation about yourself, your ability is not the same as other people, cannot promote your full potential because you think you are trying hard not as much as others, or they will see "people's house" as a model and imitating them, gradually they will look like machines repeating other people's actions without losing their own creative creativity. Even when compared, they will create envy between their children and their "people" and cause incalculable consequences..

To gain respect and become an example for children, what parents should do is to constantly improve themselves and care for their children more. When your child reaches a high score, congratulate, and when the score is not high, analyze them to see why they are wrong and motivate instead of comparing them. Parents spend time with their children playing, learning, developing, and making progress with their children. More importantly, be a better father and mother.

Xuan Thao